RANSVESTIA

But when we got to Las Moches we had a potluck dinner. I have a special kind of Hawaiian-like dish that I make and I did it on this trip. It is very tasty and everybody likes it, so this time the women were very complimentary and all wanted to know the recipe, etc. This was making what might be called "girl points." And when you are capable of making both boy and girl points you are expressing Androgeny. Of course, I prefer to turn the word around and say that I am "Gynandrous" since to me the feminine is more important than the masculine, so it should come first. So I have continued to realize that Charles is alive and well in my head and everything that he knew, experienced and was able to do I am still able to draw on. But, additionally, everything that I have learned, experienced or done as Virginia is available to me too. So no longer do I feel that having moved to this side of the street I must be just the stereotypical feminine woman. Rather, I now take the position that anything I can do or express, and want to do or express, I will do or express-within reason, of course. If the rest of the world thinks that something I do or express is not really appropriate for a woman my age-then that's their problem. I refuse to make it mine. Life is short and it's getting shorter and I must live for me as long as I don't hurt others in some way in the process. In short, I have not jumped out of the masculine frying pan into the feminine fire, but rather onto the stove top where I can do my own thing whichever it is.

1977 saw me on another local adventure. UCLA had an extension trip down the Colorado River and I decided to take it. So for five days we rafted down through the Grand Canyon sleeping at night on sandbars, swimming in the river and generally going back to nature. It took a little ingenuity dressing in the morning and taking care of nature's calls but it worked out. When we got back to Kingman, Arizona on the railroad, they set up two motel rooms-one for the men and one for the women. When I got in that room and took a look in the mirror I couldn't believe it. Dressed in rumpled and dirty slacks and an old white shirt of Charles (to prevent sunburn since I burn very easily) no makeup and my hair just a bunch of strings because of dousing by river water fights, rain, etc. I was indeed a mess. Why I wasn't "read" under those circumstances I'll never know, but I think it proved what the lady on the SS France had said on that trip, "We've known you as a woman for a week and you are still a woman to us." I started the trip with them with a proper womanly appearance and as everybody got messier and messier so did I, but it didn't change their original perception. There is a lesson there for everybody.

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